Managing anger

Anger management is a form of counselling to help you cope with any angry feelings you may have that affect your health, work, social behaviour or personal relationships.

Anger can be a normal, healthy reaction to feeling frustrated, criticised or threatened. People will either become scared or angry in response to these types of situation. This is known as the 'fight or flight' response.

It can also be a secondary emotion that comes straight after feeling scared, sad or lonely. But anger can range from feeling normal annoyance to full-blown rage, which can cloud your thinking and judgement and may lead to actions that are unreasonable and/or irrational.

If anger isn't managed properly, it can lead to aggression and the physical, mental and emotional abuse of yourself or other people.

Why is anger management necessary?

When you are angry, your body has to cope with a large amount of stress hormones which can make you ill.

Health conditions that are linked to uncontrolled or unresolved anger include headaches, high blood pressure, heart attacks, stroke and skin conditions such as eczema.

Unresolved anger can weaken your immune system so that you are more likely to pick up colds, flu's and infections. You will be less able to recover from operations, accidents or major illnesses, if your immune system is weak. Anger also lowers your pain threshold so that you are more sensitive to pain.

Alternatively, angry and frustrated feelings may be suppressed (hidden or buried) and this can lead to anxiety, low self esteem, depression, eating disorders, self injury (harming yourself), or misuse of drugs and/or alcohol.

Self help techniques

• Exercise is one of the best ways to release built up anger and tension. Doing something physical such as going for a run or playing a sport will help. Physical activity burns up the stress hormones and boosts production of the 'good mood' hormones, including endorphin and catecholamines.

• Diaphragmatic breathing
  1: Sit or lie comfortably and loosen your clothing.
  2: Put one hand on your chest and one on your stomach.
  3: Breathe in through your nose and slowly count to three in your head.
  4: As you breathe in, feel your stomach inflate with your hand. If your chest expands, focus on breathing with your diaphragm.
  5: Slowly breathe out through pursed lips and slowly count to six.
  6: Repeat two more times.

• Music: listening to calming music, such as classical or 'sounds of nature' music can help you relax. It is known to slow your pulse and heart rate, reduce stress hormones and lower blood pressure.

• Massage: the kneading and stroking movements relaxes tense muscles and improves circulation.

• Warm bath: it may seem obvious but a warm bath can help your body and mind relax. Close your eyes and let the water soothe any aching tense muscles and push away any angry or stressful thoughts, to rest your mind.

Some people find that attending relaxation classes are good at reducing stress levels and practising the techniques, help to control anger. Meditation, yoga and Pilates are also helpful.

Getting help

Different types of treatment to manage anger include:

Talking treatments
Certain types of counselling, or 'talking therapies', can help you explore the causes of your anger so that you can understand and work through them. It involves talking with someone who can help you to find your own solutions to your problems, and gain a greater understanding of your feelings and actions. Many people find counselling a useful support in working towards a more positive lifestyle.

Cognitive behaviour therapy
CBT is based on the theory that most unwanted thinking patterns and emotional and behavioural reactions are learned over a long period of time. The aim is to identify the thinking that is causing your unwanted feelings and behaviours and to learn to replace this thinking with more positive thoughts.

Anger management programmes
A typical anger management programme may involve some one-to-one counselling and working in a small group. The programmes may consist of a one day or weekend course or in some cases; it may be over a period of a couple of months. Speak to your GP to see if they offer anger management courses in your area.

Domestic violence programmes
This type of programme may last up to 18 months and is necessary if you can't control your temper and are violent to people within your household. The main focus of this programme is to provide help and support so you will be able to take responsibility for your actions and understand how it affects others. You will need to cooperate with the programmes requirements, including tackling any other issues you may have e.g. reducing your alcohol intake.

Your shout!

How do you deal with anger? Share your thoughts by posting a comment using the link below.